Thursday, October 29, 2009

Ugliness is Easy


I turned the television on today, and caught a bit of the Tyra show.  The topic of her talk show was all about helping people achieve their sexual fantasies. Whether it was helping a black couple find an Asian woman in the audience who would participate in their threesome, or letting a couple have sex in front of over a hundred people (while videotaping), Tyra was all about making dreams come true today.

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I think I've heard that Tyra Banks wants to be a role model to young girls. I don't know what she thinks that means, but I'm pretty sure encouraging shameless public exploitation of sexual fetishes isn't something that a role model is supposed to do.

When I first laid eyes on Tyra Banks, I couldn't find anything about the woman that I didn't like. I think I was in junior high when I first gazed upon her, and if I'm remembering correctly, she was on the cover of a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition pulling her bikini bottoms down at the sides. I had no complaints.

Hearing Tyra Banks talk today made me a little sick. And it confirmed how important a personality actually is when it comes to the attractiveness of a woman.

After a couple decades of our Married With Children and American Pie culture doing its best to degrade women back down to the state of sexual objects, we've found ourselves in a pretty contradictory place. Tyra Banks is totally unambiguous when it comes to sex, yet preaches a "girl power" message for the contemporary teenager. "Smile with your eyes" she tells her skinny freaks on America's Next Top Model. There's power and strength in femininity. You'll get your way if you can be confident in your natural womanhood.

It's kind of ironic, right? The woman who pushes for tolerance and acceptance of all body types, would never have gotten the chance to broadcast her voice to millions of people had she not been the skinniest, sexiest, largest-breasted black woman to ever grace a Victoria's Secret catalog. She never would have made it in radio though...

But I learn something about myself, and attraction in general, through Tyra Banks. When she's just a lingerie model, I listen to her with my eyes. When she's talking out loud (about basically anything), I want to stick knives into my ears. Tyra Banks may be beautiful on the outside, but she has shit for brains, shit for morals, and shit for a personality. Maybe it's just because I'm not a teenager anymore, but all that shit easily trumps her physical attractiveness. I think she's ugly. And it's completely because of her shitty personality.

So if you've heard that the most attractive part of a woman should be her personality, but never believed it, I dare you to watch the Tyra show and maintain your opinion. Personality is everything. Tyra Banks is one of the clearest examples of how a person can be totally hideous, even if she looks like the girl in the picture above.

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