Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Too Much Balance Results in Implosion


"We are not going to be able to operate our spaceship earth successfully nor for much longer unless we see it as a whole spaceship and our fate as common. It has to be everybody or nobody." -Buckminster Fuller

I'm writing this post from Chicago's Museum of Contemporary Art. Whenever I feel scared, I either write or walk.  Walking wasn't really doing the trick, I've been walking around this museum for a good hour now and it keeps getting worse. So a blog post it is.

Buckminster Fuller's designs and drawings are all over the top floor here. It's so much trigonometry. So much balance. Just look at that drawing up top. "Chart Indications for 4-D Color Progression." If that doesn't scare you, you're probably just normal. But as for me, I'm shaking like a dandelion in a tornado freaked out. And even those cursed things! Dandelions and tornadoes have such freakily beautiful designs. Damn them!

Normally, order and balance should really give a person comfort. If there's no chaos to worry about, why worry at all? "It's all a part of a divine plan." Well I'm more worried about complete order than I am of a flawed system. Because this would mean that randomness is a lie, an nihilistic desire of modern man. And I don't think I'm ready to accept that.

I need madness. I need mystery. Too much order makes me claustrophobic. If there's no room for nonsense, then everything is rational. I can't stand this thought. There must be nonsense. There must be ridiculousness.

If it's all predestined, I'm killing myself now. If the universe can't break away from hexagons and domes and wear a different outfit on the weekends, we're already dressed in caskets.

Where are the new colors? What is the new sound? Who will rise from the grave? I'll embrace Jesus until the day I die because of his disregard for ones and zeroes. A rebel doesn't just tear the fabric of our universe, he manufactures his own material and wears homemade clothes.

When all the stars burn out, it won't be the end. There are other dimensions that have no use for time or space, and they will live on. I want to vacation there.

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