Friday, May 15, 2009

Karaoke Death

Two Things.

We were invited out for some karaoke tonight. We couldn't go, because of some plans we made to acquire some cupcakes. But even if we hadn't made plans, I would have turned down the karaoke. I have absolutely nothing against Japanese culture, but I do have a problem with America's recent obsession with embarrassing, drunk douchebags singing bad songs in front of strangers. The American Idol thing is bad enough, but even that abomination isn't as frustrating as the local bars' karaoke nights.

There was that scene in Lost in Translation when Bill Murray sang Elvis Costello. That was great. But there are a few things that made that cool. First of all, it was Bill Murray. Second, it was actually in Japan. Very culturally appropriate. Third, they were in a private room. A private party of friends is a lot better than an orgy of off-key, drunk, white people in Wrigleyville. Private parties can only embarrass themselves, they're very inoffensive to the general public. Fourth, and this might be the most important, the song Bill Murray sang was by Elvis Costello. Singing the right song is important. When it's Kelly Clarkson, Blink 182 or Jason Mraz, that's just no good. But if it's Johnny Cash, Iron Maiden or Bob Seger, then we're on to something. Lastly, the group of people you're singing with, they must not be douches. Asians are always qualified for karaoke. If the majority of your group is Asian, that's a good sign. Plus, some people have better taste in music than others. I'll bet Dan Imbody would be a lot of fun to do karaoke with, but only as long as it's within a private party, in Japan, singing good songs with actual Japanese people. And, obviously, it wouldn't hurt to have Bill Murray present. But until this happens, you probably won't ever hear me singing karaoke. I just can't support the buffoonery.

And.

I watched a documentary on Townes Van Zandt tonight. He was great. But he reminds me to never ever do hard drugs. I've said it before, but drugs would just put me over the edge. Some minds just can't handle it. My mind would really have trouble with cocaine. I just know it.

Just sayin'. To anybody reading, make sure I never do drugs. Only bad things will happen. Things like karaoke in America. And, you know, other bad things.

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