Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I Deserve Gray Hair



I want gray hair. I'm so sick of being a redhead. The best haircolor a man could ask for is silver. Not only is it distinguished, it's easy on the eyes. Orange is not easy on the eyes at all. But what am I to do? I am a laid back person. There's no way I'll let stress get to me, and everyone knows that stress is the best way to go gray. And I'm at least five years away from a naturally aged gray.

My mind is old. I was told by my dad at age 8 to be the man of the house after he and my mom were divorced. I tried my best to pull through for him. I grew up in a trailer park. I got married after graduating from college. I've moved halfway across the country away from friends and family only to be fired from my first full-time job. I've been arrested. I've been to Europe. I've been doored on my bicycle. What more do I need to do before I get some gray? What's it take?

Do I need to have a kid? Will that do me in? I really don't want to do that. I can't imagine raising up a new person in the world as it is. That would be cruel. Nobody deserves to be subjected to this life. Or, do I just have to dye it silver?

This is a weak post, but it's late, and I often think about the day when I'll see my first gray hairs. I just want my physical appearance to catch up with my mind. I'm the oldest 24-year-old I know. This red hair has worn out its welcome. Youth is long gone. I'm dying. So where's the gray? Huh?

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